Wobbling.

This past week was quite hectic. I was ill, the cat was ill and had to go to the vet, a big freelance project appeared out of nowhere with a short deadline....and I was supposed to start taking a technology class for my program.

I even got an email from the program coordinator asking me if everything was all right. Even though, technically, although the class was available starting August 1, it is not required to be started until the first day of class, and there are four weeks in which to finish it.

Well, of course I wanted to take advantage of the extra four weeks, so I set aside this weekend to get caught up on the (50-fuckin'-million e-mails they send out every day) tutorials and the class units. Well guess what?  I can't find my username or log in. I've been in the particular program that I need to access, so I have a login name and pw--and a quick  note:  I have four different passwords that I use. That's it. I move them around, use certain passwords for certain things, others for different things, but I always use the same four passwords. And I rely, too heavily I admit, on Firefox to store them for me. So if I don't get a password on the first try--I rotate through the other three, and that usually gets it.

But here, the password is not the problem:  It's the username. I'm fairly certain I used a version of my name, either with or without my middle initial, and supposedly they will e-mail me my username. Ugh, neither version is recognizable. WTF?  I know my memory is bad, but it's not that bad. Is it? And I usually email important stuff like this to myself so I have a copy of it in case of situations just like this. I looked all through my email, and it's not there. It's just gone. The program folder I have on the desktop is empty--wiped out when I got that virus in late May, early June. And it's not on my flash drive. *stupid--hitshead*

So I emailed the tech dept that handles this program explaining that I just can't remember my username/pw. Please help.  I heard nothing all day--maybe they don't work weekends?--and I emailed the coordinator and told her the same thing--nothing there, either.

But that's not what's making me wobble:  It's this:  A job offer. A job I've dreamt of, coveted, and trained for. I'm going to meet with one of the owners next week and we'll talk details, and I really like her. A lot. We have the same taste in politics, religion, and books. The golden triangle. LOL  And I can be myself. She said one of the reasons she wanted to hire me is because I'm "honest."  I try to be, I really do, even when it's painful. She also said that she and her partner were so happy to find someone like me because she didn't know there were any "people like me."  Music to my ears. And I can work at home. *thankyoujesusjosephandmary* No more fuzzy cubicles or being timed in the bathroom. Huzzah!

So it brings up the question:  Do I still need and want to go to grad school? Until I meet with her, and determine just exactly what being "hired" entails, I'm acting under the assumption that I will be continuing with grad school. It's two classes, albeit grad level and I have no experience in that arena--yet. The highest I got in undergrad was English 464, the American Novel, focused on Faulkner and Toni Morrison, and taught by the English Chair who himself was originally from China, not a native speaker of English, loved English and American Lit, and went to Harvard. He was kind, he was thorough, he was tough. He gave me a B+. I adore him. (Can you tell?)

My husband asked me what I was going to do. I said I thought I would at least do one semester and then reevaluate. The big question is, will I be able to do it? I mean physically. Will I have the physical stamina and endurance to work and take two graduate level classes. Fortunately, I don't have to answer that question today. Or tomorrow. Or this week even.

But I would at least like an opportunity to take that 1 unit tech class. (Send me my username, dammit!)

***Update***

Thanks to "H" for tipping me off on how to regain entrance into the "sanctum." :-)