But it's moot, anyway. That money has been earmarked for out-of-state visits to the retinologist and oncologist next month. If it's not here by then...? I can't tell you the enormity of anger I'll be feeling then.
We still haven't paid our rent this month. I'm not exactly sure what happened, because my husband and I keep separate accounts (it's just better this way), and my husband is getting unemployment, so that's the bulk of our monthly income. So we're fortunate to have an understanding landlady. Considering that 10% of the units in our complex of some 300 units have remained steadily empty since we've lived here, she's probably just happy to have renters. I feel like an ass. I always paid my rent before anything else. I may not have had food or money to put gas into my car to get to work, but my rent was paid. I don't like being in this position.
I'm doing everything I know how to do to increase incoming funds--I've got stuff for sale on Etsy; I've applied for several jobs, although pickin's are thin. If I wanted to be a Fellow in hand neurosurgery instruction or join the Army, there are plenty of jobs available. *sigh*
I've suggested selling our second car, but my husband said no.
I'm exhausted.
I had an asthma attack in the middle of the night last night--I'm not sure where that came from--and it took a while to get my breathing stabilized, even with a rescue inhaler, and then I was afraid to lay down for fear of inability to breathe, and I finally fell asleep sometime around 4 or 5am. And I felt like a wrung out dishrag all day. Bleah.
So yeah, this is me whining.
Not very grown up, I'm afraid, but there it is.
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