Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines!!!!!!!!!!!

I am enrolled. I have an idea of the cost (manageable), but am still waiting for the State of California to stick it to the universities with budget cuts and tuition hikes. But still.

I'm in!

Enrollment Update No. 237

From my Advisor earlier today:

Hi Jewels,

[Magic Admin Lady] switched you to [the right program] yesterday and sent a note to [a 2nd magic admin lady]. So, she should be able to take care of that today. Check again tomorrow and if it is not handled, let me know. I will get right on it.

Yes, the system was down but is fine now, so hopefully this will be taken care of promptly.

Dr. X

***


I am not a patient person. I mean, I can be, but I have a limit. I was supposed to be enrolled on the 14th,, and today is the 28th. I think that's being pretty fucking patient. I thought computers were supposed to make our lives "easier?" LOL I want this fixed YESTERDAY!!!!!!


There, I said it and I'm not sorry. *exhale*


Que sera, sera mutherfuckers.

Evidently Today is Not My Day

I am still not enrolled.

I know the website was down most of the day, and the servers were being whack, so that may be the problem.

However.....I want to know if this is normal for this university, or if I can't expect fuckups like this throughout my residence in the program?

Not feeling the love. Not feeling it at all.

Going to write my Advisor. AGAIN.

Big Day Tomorrow

The all important administration lady comes back from vacation. Hopefully she has the magic key to enroll me in the rest of my classes. *fingers crossed*

We shall see.

Movement on the Enrollment Front

Just out of curiosity, I checked my university page--like I do 20 times a day--and a class has been added for me. It is a one-unit class on the technology we'll be using for our online education. It can be started on August 1, and completed with a pass/fail by the fourth week of the semester.

I also had a message that my online tools, different from my student account, were ready for me to use. It's a program called Desire 2 Learn, or just D2L.  We had a different program at Chico State called WebCT, which somehow no one ever mentioned when I went through orientation. I was a little taken aback my first day of class at Chico State, which was also a grammar class (and I've forgotten everything I've learned there.).

It was a glitchy, moody, annoying, pain in the arse of a program, and no one liked it. I heard that Chico State changed over to Blackboard after I graduated, but I'm not sure if that is true.

I took an online course through WebCT (anthropology: a study of religion, magic, and witchcraft...really interesting)  and did tests and submitted some papers through it. But I never used it 100% for all my classes. Good thing I just bought this new laptop. *Note to self:  Purchase carbonite or a backup drive for said laptop by first week of class.

So far, I like D2L. I set up my profile, put up a pic of my smiling face, a few words about myself, and saved it. I poked around and looked at and it doesn't seem to be as fussy a program as WebCT. But we shall see.

So I'm really going. I know that I really want to do this because I was so upset when the possibility that I couldn't occurred.  My brain is turning into mush not doing anything all day except housework, net-surfing, selling crap online, and trying not to think about baked goods. I am really looking forward to meeting new people, meeting the professors, learning about the classes and what that will entail, and actually learning new concepts and skills. I love school. Too bad no one will pay me to do it. LOL

So keeping with my personal college traditions, I now must purchase a keychain from my new university. I have one each for the two previous universities I attended, USC and Chico State. I also have a NaNoWriMo keychain because I *won* that last November. And I wanted to A) remember and B) support them even in my own little way.

I'm heading over to the online bookstore to see what they have available on the Internet. Otherwise, the next time I'm in town, I'll just pick one up.

*happy*

OK to Exhale?

From my advisor, today:

We will get you enrolled—a seat is waiting for you in each class.  I can’t wait for [admin person] to return!

X.

*exhale*  I'm just going to relax, let it go, and get on with the things I need to have done before late August, when school starts.

Letting Fate Decide

Earlier I said I applied to this particular program in a sort of "what the hell" fashion and that I would "let fate decide."

Well, earlier this morning, fate gave me a big fat middle finger.

For reasons unknown to my advisor/program director and her boss, I and a few other people never made it onto the registration rolls, despite everything. And like all bureaucracies, the "woman who handles that" is out until the 27th. 

I've done all that I can do. I can't find my letter of admission/welcome. My husband sat at my desk (despite repeated requests not to do that) and all I can find is the envelope. I looked for over an hour. I have no idea where it is because I left it on my desk.

So I've gotta let it go....if I'm in, I'm in, if I'm not, well, damnshitfuckpisshell.

I don't have a backup plan that doesn't involve low-paying clerical work.

*&^%$

Sometimes You Just Know

That something is not right.  Just got the following from my advisor:

J.,

The student services coordinator is out until June 27^th, and your name doesn’t appear on my list of LMNO students.  I’m trying to find out what happened.

 

Did you receive a letter saying you had been admitted to LMNO, WXYZ or just PQRST?  Did you apply for LMNO and not WXYZ?

 

Let me know definitely if you want LMNO and I will continue to pursue this with Dr.A to see how/when we can get you registered.  We may have to wait for the 27^th when [the coordinator] returns.

So far? I'm not feeling the love. Hopefully my advisor, who also runs the program, can get this resolved. I've got to go search for that letter. It was on my desk last I remember, in case I need it. 

I really dislike it when a bad gut feeling becomes reality. Really, really, really dislike it.

Still Not Enrolled

So I just wrote to my advisor. I hope it's just some kind of glitch or being over-busy. But my intense curiosity and anxiety stems from the fact that I will *not* know the cost until I am enrolled. And if, as I'm sure it will, tuition goes up, I need to plan for that accordingly--and the more notice I have, the better it will be for me.

We're running out of money here, and I'm applying for every job I'm qualified/overqualified/underqualified for. We need an income stream and soon. None of my eBay items are going to sell (they end in an hour and this is the third time I'm put them up for sale), and Amazon this past two weeks I only made $22-. Four weeks ago, I made $75-. It's a hit or miss thing.  We're considering an actual swapmeet next week to sell some things. I need to investigate that, and quickly.

Deep breaths, in, out, in out.  And more coffee.

Now I'm Panicked

Why? Registration opened on the 14th, and I'm still not registered for classes. My advisor told me that if I was not enrolled by Monday, to let her know.

I'll be checking my student account on Monday, and if it's still not updated? Oh yeah, my advisor is definitely getting an email from me.

In the meantime, I think I'll go out for a drink with my hubs.

***
June 18, 7:15pm
I'm having some concerns about my "new university."  My alma mater, Chico State, ran so smoothly, like butter. I can only think of one time when things went awry and that was because of an error I made. They handled everything well, and I had confidence in them. As long as I fulfilled my role, they kept up their end.

So far at new university? I'm not feeling that confidence. They do run things differently, even though they are both part of the same system--and those differences are making me edgy. Plus, I spent two years at private butt-smooch-U where your every need was catered to and you never need feel uncomfortable, ever. At $38k a year, a little butt-smooching is in order, don't you think? :-)

I hope I'm just having a case of nerves. I hope it's me and not the University. *fingerscrossed*

A Moment of Panic

The first of many, I'm sure.

Yesterday was registration for classes, and as a cohorts program, we're all supposed to be registered in the same classes at the same time, automatically. [Or as I always say after an English-as-a-second-language, and very cruel bureaucrat once said to me, auto-muh-tickally.]  But they weren't--I wasn't enrolled in any classes even after midnight!

Panic!!  Now what? I double-checked the checklist they sent me of things to do and it clearly said "automatically" for my program. So what was the deal? No email had gone out stating there was a problem, or a change, or cats and dogs were falling from the sky.

So I decided to err on the side of caution and I wrote my advisor (lovely woman). She wrote back today and told me that the clerk responsible for doing that is working on it and it should be completed by the end of the week--evidently there's not one, does-it-all button; each person must be added manually. And since my last name comes at the end of the alphabet....probably the end of the week.

I wrote my advisor back and thanked her stating, "I just don't want to miss any deadlines."
She said she looks forward to working with me and appreciated that I was "concerned enough to follow up."

*exhale*

Tonight is a technology lecture (online--everything's online), and I'm looking forward to that.

I'm really excited to get started with school. I really am.

***
UPDATE:  6:39pm, Wednesday

I was a little late logging into the site for the Cloud Computing colloquium because I was in the wrong place because my window was not maximized and I didn't get the last bit of directions. I'm not sure if I missed anything important, but it was like listening to a seminar on insurance:  I have no idea what she was talking about. I still don't know what Cloud computing is and how it differs from traditional, off-site server storage. Except that it's cheaper and more streamlined. If it was recorded, I'm going to go back and listen to the beginning again and see if it makes any more sense.  The other people in the colloquium had really good (not understandable by me) questions, but I'm assuming most of them are summer students who have already had at least one or more years of the program under their belts.

The technology program I needed to learn? I was able to do that *before* the lecture; however, I didn't realize I had to log out of it and log back in for it to work. *ahem*

Lot's to learn.

Tomorrow is Registration Day

It's a cohort program, so all 35 (I'm assuming--that's how many they take each year) of us will be automatically enrolled into three, 3-unit classes, and one, 1-unit class regarding use of the technology required for the program. It needs to be done in the first four weeks of the semester. So I don't really need to think about registration, now or going forward. We'll all be registered for the same classes from here on in.  Our internships will probably all be different, but enrollment in the Internship class will be the same for all of us.

There are two online lectures coming up this week, one is on using a particular program, and the second is on Cloud Computing. I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around this concept--I'm not sure how it's different from servers--so my plan is to watch the lecture.

Also, I'm interested to see how much it's going to cost me. The university is unable to give me an answer as the state is still waiting on a budget. The quoted price may, and most likely will, go up. So I'm not sure how much debt I'll be going into. That's right; I got only loans. I applied after the FAFSA initial deadline of March 2, so it was either accept the loans or wait another year. "Hey," to paraphrase Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinnie, "my clock is tickin' here!!" I want to jump right in. I feel ready. Of course, one is never really ready for something this big, but one must keep an open mind, ask questions, and look to those with more expertise or knowledge than one has.

This is true of school or work. I would've never made it at my last job without my BFF. She had a photographic memory. Has. I was able to sit with her and take exact, detailed notes of how to use the complex database that everyone hated. Showing me once does not work. So I found someone who could help me. I bought her lunch several times, but the truth is she was glad to do it and we're still friends.

So my plan is to take lot's of notes, print things out if it will help, talk to my cohorts and especially my professors and advisor. Just like I did as an undergrad. It took me a while to figure out that professors truly want to see us all succeed--and were not just big boulders on the pathway of life. I think it took me all of community college to figure that out. I visited my professors in their office only three times at community college. And probably all my last semester. I had associated "office hours" to "being sent to the principal's office, aka, 'the office.'"  You know, in trouble.  I took full advantage of office hours at Chico State if I needed them.  This will be true more than ever as a grad student. (I still can't believe that I'm using those words. LOL).

I did consider some online universities before I chose this program. I was especially interested in Walden University. Aside from the cool name, they are accredited. They are expensive, however. Also, don't ask for any information, though, because they will spam the hell out of you.

I also considered University of Phoenix, pricey and has a reputation as a diploma-mill (correct me if I am wrong); National, and DeVry (they have non-technical majors, also). I was just spinning the college wheel, thinking.

But now that I've selected, enrolled, and signed up for lot's of debt (I'll probably die before I pay it off LOL), I am nervously excited.

***
UPDATE: Tues 12:30pm

Both classes tonight are at the same time. WTH? I guess I'll skip the Cloud lecture because the other has more immediate relevance.  Who planned this? Maybe it'll be stored and I can watch it later. Huh.

Just One Life?

I feel like I've lived a thousand lives. Change has been the only constant in my life. New homes, new cities, new schools, new jobs, new people. I've lived by the ocean, more than once; the desert, the mountains, the prairie. I've lived in houses, apartments and for a while at one time, my car. I have so many memories of so many different things...I'm a six-year-old driving cross country through the Mojave desert with her parents in a car with no seat-belts and seats that fold forward if you stop too fast, desperately scanning the landscape for the Jackalopes my father and uncle told  me would be there; I'm the girl who picked ticks off of her dad, sister, and cousin after a day trip to Rocky Mountain National Park; who brought home a psychedelic red mushroom with white spots to her mom, because it was pretty, and who immediately knew what it was; I'm the one who used to beat up her little sister pretty regularly (she usually started it) but wouldn't let anyone else touch her; I've strutted my stuff on the beach in a bikini, and been too embarrassed by overweight to even go to the beach at night; I've been to rodeos and down Rodeo Drive; I've shot at cans in the desert and refused to buy my bi-polar mother a gun;  I've cruised Van Nuys Boulevard on Thursday night; I've counted hookers on Hollywood Boulevard with high school friends (extra points for cross dressers); I had a husband who lied to me and went to prison because of that which he failed to tell me; I've driven cross country to Indiana to *start over*, just myself and two cats, only to arrive at a home that was dilapidated and mold-filled with no running water in the bathroom; I had a boyfriend die of a horrific disease at 31, and I would later learn that the moment he died I was in a restaurant bathroom throwing up for no apparent reason; I've worn suits to work and tennis shoes; I've had an office, a cubicle, and worked out of my car or from home; I've loved a lot of cats and more than a few guys who didn't deserve it.

I feel like the Julia Roberts character in Runaway Bride who likes eggs the same way as whichever guy she is dating at the time, that is, she doesn't know what she wants.

I feel like I've experienced so much change, so much chaos, that I am unable to thrive in an environment that is peaceful, quiet, settled, even though I crave it.

I applied for grad school on a whim. I was home, bored, Googling things to do with my life late one night, and I did a search for "Library Science", and within a geographic area--my alma mater, and first choice, did not offer a post-grad degree in library science. And the program I found is all done online. I can live...anywhere, and still take classes. It's an accredited California institution, it's a sub-specialty of library science, one that I've been interested in the last few years.

The deadline was a month away, but no GRE scores and no letters of recommendation were required. All I needed was a little time and $55- for the application fee. I figured why not? Let fate decide. If I didn't get in, fine; if I did, great, I'll deal with that when I get to it.  They only accept 35 people per year, this is their fourth year with this program. I was accepted. I was surprised. And pleased, of course. Thank goodness they didn't require my community college transcripts because although I sent away for them in mid-March, they've never charged my debit card and the records were never sent out. The University only required transcripts of my last 60 units, which were all done at Chico State. And I had a 3.46gpa at the university when I left there. (The total gpa for all previous colleges, and which there are four, including Chico, is 3.0).

When I was accepted, a friend whose opinion I value texted me, "Are you going to do it!?"  Yeah, yeah I am. I had a little freak out moment when I saw the syllabi for the classes (which are cohorts and enrollment is done for us automatically), and I am concerned about my memory problems, so I'm scared a little. But hell yeah, I'm going to give it my best shot. I've done a lot of different things in my life, been a lot of places, been a lot of different people, but I'm still trying to figure myself out. I guess that's the best any of us can do, just try.

Artist Frida Kahlo wrote in her diary a few days before she died, "I hope the exit is joyful — and I hope never to return — Frida."  I feel just the opposite:  one lifetime is not enough.

Grad School: Why Now?

So, if you're like me, you're pushing fifty for all it's worth; when you were a teenager, your father told you to take shorthand and typing so you could "be a secretary"; also, you hated high school and wanted to backpack through Europe (or something) the year between high school and college (like they do in Britain, only they call it a Gap Year) but your parents forced you to go to community college instead so you could stay on the insurance; your uncle told you to "join a church so you could find a good husband"; or your first husband told you "you'll never finish" as you spent four years in community college while working forty hours a week when you were in your early thirties; . If you're like me you also have an undergraduate degree in a liberal arts, in my case, English, and for which you quit your good-paying/benefited, (boring-ass, soul-killing) union job at forty-two to go back to college. And the year you graduate, finally, the economy goes into the toilet and you're unable to find any but the most menial of jobs for years. For Example.  Not including those two weeks you were a trainer for the €ensus--that rocked.

Or, maybe not.

At any rate, that's basically who, what, and where I am right now. Graduate school was never really on my radar. I didn't think I was smart enough, resourceful enough, persistent enough, and deserving of a degree, let alone a graduate level degree. It just was never something I ever considered. I still can't believe I managed to get a BA, even three years later. *shakinghead*

So the three years I sat around looking at, applying for, or working crappy jobs I started thinking about it. Clearly English was not a good idea for an advanced degree for someone who did not want to teach, which I don't. So what else? What did I enjoy? Hmmm...

When I went back to community college at age thirty-two, I enrolled as a psychology major. I had just, finally, had my head tightened on properly with a new drug called Prozac, and I quit spending every day wishing I were dead, and started thinking about the future. Good stuff, that. I still take it. That drug changed my life. So psychology was on the table for a long time.

I looked around for universities in California that offered a MFCC programs. I found one I really, really liked at Fresno State. Unfortunately, I needed to take the GRE and garner up three references in three weeks--the deadline was rapidly looming. I could have probably shaken down the references in time, and I could have taken the GRE, but it's about $200- to take that test, and if I'm going to take it, I want a good score. Three weeks was not near enough time. So I decided that if in a year, I still wanted to do it, I would prepare for it. I already had the grades (3.0 or higher GPA).

In a year, I had a job offer in Reno, for what I hoped would be a legup/foot in the door via a crappy job hoping to eventually turn that into something better with AT and T Internet Services (call center for DSL subscribers who were unable to get online). It was so crappy, and I sucked so badly at it, even my trainer suggested I quit rather than  be fired--because I sucked that badly and it was only a matter of time. And oh yeah, that no being late or absent, including lunches or breaks, more than once over the course of a year. A guy had a heart attack at his desk, refused to go to the hospital, the paramedics finally convinced him to go, he was out four days then came right back to work, and he was written up for attendance. One more write-up, and he would be gone. I am not kidding. I meet people in Reno all the time who worked there or knew someone who worked there and we all agreed--it was some B.A.D. S.H.I.T. And as someone with diabetes? I get sick. A lot.

So anyways....

I also looked at UC Merced as it had just opened--it was a brand new campus with all new facilities--we had driven by a couple of times on our trips from our home in Chico to visit family in Los Angeles numerous times. It was a beautiful campus and a gorgeous area. They even had married housing. Unfortunately, they didn't offer any majors I was interested in. It appears UCM is going to focus on the sciences from their graduate majors.

I talked to the department chair of Chico State, where my undergrad degree is from, and he said he was all ready for me to come to grad school. He and some of my professors. I could take the GRE at my convenience!! Just come to Chico! But...I just didn't see getting an MA in English. The BA hadn't really done anything for me (except make me proud); WTH would an MA in English do for me besides pile up debt?

Additionally, I knew some people in the program, and honestly? And I'm not saying this to be mean, but to be truthful, they just weren't very bright. I had read their stuff when I had undergrad classes with them, their shining faces looking at me so needfully, wanting my approval of the piece of crap they asked me to read....and I would smile, and nod, and tell them it was good, because my advice was never taken, I'd learned. And it made me feel that if I were accepted there (which was a given based on feedback), that maybe I wasn't very bright, either... So I moved on.

Next I tried the psychology department at Chico State. I even talked to the Director of counseling services there who I had gotten to know fairly well when I was a student there. She was very enthusiastic. Since I didn't have an undergraduate degree in psychology, there were a number of classes I would need to take prior to applying and being admitted or taken co-currently. Ugh. I felt the urgency of time and aging upon me. So I deferred grad school while I worked one rinky-dink job or another while in survival mode, and thought about it some more.

To be continued...