My husband is annoying the ever-loving shit out of me. I can barely stand to be around him. He talks about the same things over and over and over, and even if I tell him "I heard this" or even, "I was there" he continues to tell me the story.
So I ignore him about 90% of the time.
He makes stupid choices.
He constantly shoots himself in the foot.
He has the common sense of a rock.
He can be and often is an idiot.
I'm tired and exhausted of dealing with his low self-esteem and inability to do something right as well as emotional outbursts which border on hysteria and rage. Not border, ARE.
I spoke to a therapist over the phone, and she told me she could get me referrals to some women's shelters ASAP. I don't need that, but would take it if I thought it would get me out of this fucking hellhole I find myself living in.
The truth is...I can barely stand to be around him anymore. I stay up late so I can be alone, do what I like without him commenting, questioning, or being annoying. UGH. And I don't have to sleep with him at the same time. He snores loudly and hogs the bed. If I wait until about 2am--he's up at 6--he's quieted down and I can get some rest and some covers.
I think. I think. I think the marriage may be over. Although that makes me sad, and my heart hurt, inside of me is a young woman (ha!) who is jumping up and down and screaming yes! yes! yes!
I'm not sure how this is going to play out. I hope it's not messy.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Primal Scream
OMG, I've got to bitch somewhere, so you are it blogger.
I have a friend who wrote a book. This is my oldest, dearest, most loved friend. We've known each other since he was fourteen and I was sixteen. His parents thought we were going to get married. I thought we were, too. Then in his 20s, after he and I had toured Europe together and shared a room (chastely), he figured out that he was gay. My heart was broken, but my love for him changed from romantic to familial, and I love him very much. He's the guy I would call if my car broke down in the middle of the desert at 4am. And he would come and get me. And I would do the same for him. He's my dearest friend.
His book, however, has not been my friend. He has a great story, but it's written so badly that it is essentially a steaming pile of shit. He hired me--and already paid me--to edit his book. And he won't take suggestions. He's fought me every step of the way. About a year ago, I decided to quit fighting him, just make sure the mechanics were correct, and hope and pray he didn't put my name in the acknowledgements. *fingerscrossed*
SO I've edited it about five times, now, and I'm editing it one last time. And all the changes I made, in the mechanics, have been fucked with. Quotation marks moved or deleted. Commas added where none are needed. SO I'm fixing it. AGAIN. I'm not fixing it anymore after this.
Now he wants me to "read it" from beginning to end to check for flow and subtlety. On th ephone yesterday I told him that there was no point in doing that because I do that while I'm editing. Development editing is my specialty. I also told him that I'd like to deconstruct the whole thing and add in a pile of character development, but he doesn't want any character development (that's the thing I quit fighting him on). He's self-publishing; he can publish any pile of shit he wants. Lots of people do.
But if I have to read it one more time? I am going to cut my head off with a chainsaw. I am not kidding. It is that awful. And although I tried and tried and tried to steer him in the right direction, then even told him "you have an ugly baby" and it needs x, y, and z...he didn't want to hear it. He thought he knew better. The company I work for won't touch it with a ten-foot pole. If it were anyone but my friend, my favorite friend, I wouldn't touch it either.
He won't let me help him. And the fallout is going to be ugly. I just hope it doesn't hurt him too badly. He's worked on this for over 20 years. It hurts my heart to know that he's publishing a steaming pile and that I can't help him. Maybe he'll listen to me and we can get it fixed...I don't know. This is a horrible dilemma. No more doing work for friends. That's it. That's my new rule. Surgeon's don't work on family members for the same reason. You're too emotionally invested, you can't see clearly, and you can't speak honestly. At least not enough to be trusted by the person to whom you are being honest.
It's hard.
He does have a kickass cover. He found a great graphic designer, so there's that. *sigh*
I have a friend who wrote a book. This is my oldest, dearest, most loved friend. We've known each other since he was fourteen and I was sixteen. His parents thought we were going to get married. I thought we were, too. Then in his 20s, after he and I had toured Europe together and shared a room (chastely), he figured out that he was gay. My heart was broken, but my love for him changed from romantic to familial, and I love him very much. He's the guy I would call if my car broke down in the middle of the desert at 4am. And he would come and get me. And I would do the same for him. He's my dearest friend.
His book, however, has not been my friend. He has a great story, but it's written so badly that it is essentially a steaming pile of shit. He hired me--and already paid me--to edit his book. And he won't take suggestions. He's fought me every step of the way. About a year ago, I decided to quit fighting him, just make sure the mechanics were correct, and hope and pray he didn't put my name in the acknowledgements. *fingerscrossed*
SO I've edited it about five times, now, and I'm editing it one last time. And all the changes I made, in the mechanics, have been fucked with. Quotation marks moved or deleted. Commas added where none are needed. SO I'm fixing it. AGAIN. I'm not fixing it anymore after this.
Now he wants me to "read it" from beginning to end to check for flow and subtlety. On th ephone yesterday I told him that there was no point in doing that because I do that while I'm editing. Development editing is my specialty. I also told him that I'd like to deconstruct the whole thing and add in a pile of character development, but he doesn't want any character development (that's the thing I quit fighting him on). He's self-publishing; he can publish any pile of shit he wants. Lots of people do.
But if I have to read it one more time? I am going to cut my head off with a chainsaw. I am not kidding. It is that awful. And although I tried and tried and tried to steer him in the right direction, then even told him "you have an ugly baby" and it needs x, y, and z...he didn't want to hear it. He thought he knew better. The company I work for won't touch it with a ten-foot pole. If it were anyone but my friend, my favorite friend, I wouldn't touch it either.
He won't let me help him. And the fallout is going to be ugly. I just hope it doesn't hurt him too badly. He's worked on this for over 20 years. It hurts my heart to know that he's publishing a steaming pile and that I can't help him. Maybe he'll listen to me and we can get it fixed...I don't know. This is a horrible dilemma. No more doing work for friends. That's it. That's my new rule. Surgeon's don't work on family members for the same reason. You're too emotionally invested, you can't see clearly, and you can't speak honestly. At least not enough to be trusted by the person to whom you are being honest.
It's hard.
He does have a kickass cover. He found a great graphic designer, so there's that. *sigh*
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